Jessica Speer Talks About The Phone Book: Stay Safe, Be Smart, and Make the World Better with the Powerful Device in Your Hand

A podcast interview with Jessica Speer on The Growing Readers Podcast, a production of The Children’s Book Review.

If you’re a parent or caregiver looking for ways to help your kids form healthy digital habits, look no further than Jessica Speer’s book, The Phone Book! This book is packed with engaging quizzes, real stories, and techie tidbits that will help empower kids and families when it comes to smartphone use.

By teaching your kids about digital literacy and citizenship, you can help them develop the skills and knowledge they need to make smart decisions online. In this conversation, Jessica’s helpful advice encourages you to model healthy tech habits yourself, create a tech agreement with your kids, and have regular conversations about the dark side of tech. With The Phone Book as your family guide, you’ll be well on your way to helping your kids form healthy digital habits that will last a lifetime!

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Transcription:

Bianca Schulze

Hi, Jessica. Welcome to The Growing Readers Podcast.

Jessica Speer

Hi, Bianca. Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to chat with you.

Bianca Schulze

Yeah, well, you’re here to talk about your latest book, The Phone Book: Stay Safe, be smart, and Make the world better with the powerful device in your hand. And since this is actually your third nonfiction book written specifically for the Tween and early teens, I want to start by asking: what drives you to write for this specific crowd?

Jessica Speer

Good question. It’s definitely my own curiosity because I feel like this particular age group. So, when we are eight to twelve years old, life gets a little more complicated, our relationships get complicated, school gets more complicated, and so there’s a lot going on there. So, I love to dive into some of these complicated topics and figure out ways just to make them more accessible to kids.

Bianca Schulze

Awesome. What were some of the books from your childhood that you feel turned you into a know?

Jessica Speer

I loved and still love Judy Blume. And it’s so funny because the movie finally released of Are You There? It’s Me, Margaret. And I remember devouring that book and thinking, oh, finally, somebody’s talking about some of this hard, awkward stuff that I’ve been thinking about. And oddly enough, many years later, that’s what I’m writing about. I’m writing about hard, awkward stuff because that’s super important for us, especially as we are preteens and teens, to think about and learn how to navigate that.

Bianca Schulze

Have you been to see the new movie? Are you there, God? It’s Me, Margaret.

Jessica Speer

Not yet. And here’s why. So, I’m like; I have to reread it first. So as soon as I’m done rereading it, I am so going. Have you gone?

Bianca Schulze

I’m not going to spoil anything, but it was so good. It was such a refreshing movie to watch. And I watched it with my eleven-year-old and 17-year-old daughters, and we all loved it. And we all loved it for different reasons.

But I think it is it’s what you said, I think, growing up, and particularly for girls and also boys, but life gets a little trickier and harder to handle between friendships and growing pains. And I just love that Judy Blume tackles it head-on, and obviously, so do you. Yes, well, when you’re ready to write a new book, and you know you’re going to be sitting down staring at a blank page and probably tackling some pretty big topics for tweens, what kind of feelings do you have when you’re staring at that blank page?

Jessica Speer

It’s always terrifying. So, I actually don’t stare at the blank page. What I do, I have got a background in social sciences, is I actually get working with kids because that gives me the information I need to actually finally get to the blank page.

So, my first two books grew out of a lot of time or programs or conversations with kids. So, my first book is called BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? A Girls Guide to Happy Friendships. And that book grew out of a friendship program I ran for girls. So, by the time I’m facing the page, I’m like, okay, I got this because I’ve really kind of worked with kids and heard their stories, and I feel like I’m in a better place. I kind of approach it differently. I never start with a blank page because I just feel like I’m not equipped to do that until I really dig deep and start connecting with kids.

Bianca Schulze

Yeah, that’s great. And you’re also a parent. So how much of your, I guess, when you’re writing comes from your work experience versus being a mom and also somebody who also had to grow up at some point? What is the balance of that that goes into your books?

Jessica Speer

All three. All three. And often, it is triggered by what I’m seeing in my kids because then that ripples into what they’re seeing in their peers, and it often reminds me of what I experienced when I was growing up. So, it’s all three of those. But I have to say that all three of my books initially started by observing what I have two daughters and what my daughters were going through, and that piqued my curiosity, and I wanted to dig deeper into that. So, then I cast my net wider and started working and talking with kids and digging through the research. So, yeah, it’s kind of a strange process, but it definitely starts at home because that’s where we feel it, and we see it the most.

Bianca Schulze

Absolutely. Well, I’m not going to lie. One of the reasons I wanted to speak to you today, specifically about The Phone Book, is that I have a daughter who will soon be entering middle school, and she desperately wants a cell phone. And I’m hesitant. I already have one older child with a cell phone, so I’m not new to it, but I think every child is different, and I’m nervous about putting a cell phone into the next daughter’s hand. And so that is really what drew me to wanting to have this conversation. So, I want to know what made you want to write this specific book.

Jessica Speer

And I was right there, too. So, the idea for this book happened during the pandemic when we were all getting sucked into our screens, and you could see this happening. We all could. We could see that younger and younger kids were getting pulled deeper and deeper into technology while we were all binge-watching. During the pandemic, I watched a documentary called The Social Dilemma, which I highly recommend and actually highly recommend parents to watch with their preteens and teens, too, because, for me, that was so eye-opening.

I knew there was a lot I didn’t know about tech and how it works, and what’s going on behind the curtain. That documentary showed me so much and made me want to learn a lot more. So, what I feel about technology is it came upon us so quickly, like a lot of innovations in human society, it came on so fast, and we have not yet put the guardrails in place. I think we’ve kind of missed the boat on this generation of kids like this. Just the train left the station at high speed, and we haven’t yet figured out the impact of this, how to keep it safe and healthy for kids.

So that piece got me thinking and excited, and I really dove into writing this book. So, yeah, I feel for you that you’ve got one that is right here because it’s really hard. It does change a lot of their life once they get that technology. And there’s positives. I don’t want to sound really negative. There’s positives, but there are also a lot of negatives. So, it’s important for kids and families to kind of know what they’re getting themselves into.

Bianca Schulze

Yeah, absolutely. And we’ll touch on this more. But I love that you said that there are positives. And I think this is what The Phone Book does beautifully; it isn’t just a parent with all this doom and gloom about how terrible it is to have a smartphone in your hand. It’s just this wonderful balance of knowledge and empowering kids. But rather than me describing the book, why don’t you tell everybody what this book is all about, in your words?

Jessica Speer

Yeah, like I said, the tech train has left the station. It is here, and our society has embraced it. And we, as parents, kind of have to do that, too. And kids love it. And there are amazing things about technology. So, I wanted to explore the cool, awesome side. But I also wanted to, again, peek behind the curtain at what’s happening at tech companies, what’s driving tech companies, and how algorithms work. What is persuasive design? Because I find that when kids really know what’s going on, they make better choices.

What’s challenging for parents is we often don’t know. Our kids are so much farther along than we are in the tech learning curve that we might not even have the information to have the conversations that we need to have with them. So that’s what this book does. In, hopefully, a gentle, informative, non-judgmental way, have a lot of those conversations with kids.

And how I write is I like to make it as fun as I can and interactive. So, I love quizzes, and I love weird facts. I love real stories and activities and ways that kids can engage with the book. Because, let’s face it, I am competing with technology and phones as a writer. So, this book better pull them in and engage them in different ways. So, yeah, it’s just a book about helping kids understand the ins and outs of their phones so that they can develop safe and healthy habits.

Bianca Schulze

I’m going to take a moment to list out the different chapters because I think they also work as an excellent summary. So:

Chapter One is: Why Tech Companies Want You Staring at Your Screen. Chapter Two: Your Digital Footprint, AKA Your Digital Reputation. Chapter Three: Detecting Disinformation Sleuthing Truth From Lies and Fake Stuff. Chapter Four: Social Media Welcome to Disneyland. Chapter Five: FOMO, FOJI, and Text Slang Galore. Chapter Six: Zombieland Is Tech Addiction a Thing? Chapter Seven: Creepy People, Stranger Danger Online. Chapter Eight: Cyberbullying and Digital Drama. Chapter Nine Bonus Activities, Techie Tidbits Weird Facts, Trivia, and Definitions Revisited. And then the final chapter, Chapter Ten: You and Your Phone. A Force for Good.

So, I feel like that gives listeners a really solid sense of, like, I mean, you cover so much of the important stuff and then the fun stuff. But of all these chapters, which one is your favorite and why?

Jessica Speer

I love chapter one because, again, this is what kind of inspired the book—a peek behind the curtain of tech. And so, I think it’s super important for kids to know that a lot of games and social media and apps they’re really driven by profit. Their goal is to keep us staring at the screen because the more we stare at the screen, the more data they can collect on us and the more ad space they can sell. So, they’re great at it. It’s kind of like us against all these experts who are great at designing technology in ways that keep us staring.

And we as adults know this too. It’s so easy for me to get lost scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. So, I think that’s a perfect place to start to know that phones are designed to keep us staring at them, to keep them fun and engaging. And that’s exactly what they do. So, it’s kind of like us. We’re up against a pretty strong competitor here as parents but also as kids. So, I want kids to understand that. And so, they might feel that themselves, that it’s really hard. These phones feel really addictive, and kids describe that themselves as their behavior toward their phones. Once they have them for a long time, they do start to feel a little addicted to their phones because that’s exactly how they’re designed.

So, we need to start from there. We need to just know that about these amazing pieces of technology as they are designed to be addictive, and that’s why they feel that way.

Bianca Schulze

Yes. Well, you also mentioned just before how when you write and that you are competing with technology, you like to build in sort of more engaging elements. And there are so many interactive and design elements that make the engagement level of this particular book so appealing. So, will you discuss the layout and how these elements engage the intended tweens and teens?

Jessica Speer

Yeah, and thank you for bringing that up. And I have to give a shout-out to my publisher because when I was working on this book and I had the concept, and I wrote a proposal for this, and I wrote the first chapter, and the first chapter wasn’t nearly as interactive as I wanted it to be. My publisher had purchased the book, but I went back to them like, well, can I add even a few more elements? Like, how do you feel about secret codes? And how do you feel about some trivia where the answers will have to be kind of upside down on the page? All these things are really challenging from the publishing perspective because that means my book is really challenging to design.

I mean, there’s fun fonts there’s throughout. There’s cartoons and activities. So, they said yes, so I was like, yes. So, I just went for it. Then I’m like, okay, let’s do this. So, each page starts, or each chapter starts with kind of a real story about whatever that topic is. I have real stories that I heard from kids or that I found out through research. There’s also a quiz to kind of get our heads in the space of whatever that topic might be. Maybe it’s privacy or disinformation, misinformation. So just to help kids see what they happen to know already about this topic, then there’s a section called Reality Check, and that is where we kind of peek behind the curtain as to how things actually work so they can get some real understanding.

There’s lots of techie tidbits, and there’s weird facts, probably another story. Each chapter ends with some sort of secret code, and these were so fun to write. So, unlocking some sort of code, some sort of phone code, and then it finishes up with a checklist. So, a handy checklist as to what to think about when you’re maybe coming across disinformation or misinformation, what to think about when you’re maybe experiencing some FOMO. So, yeah, it’s packed with all sorts of colors and activities, and that’s intentional because this is complicated stuff. So, it has to be fun.

Bianca Schulze

Yes, well, I found it so fun. And as you said, there are a lot of fun facts scattered throughout. And hopefully, I’m going to say this fact correctly; you might have to fact-check me, Jessica, but the Apollo Eleven had less technology on it than what our smartphones do now. So, they went to the moon into space with less technology than we carry around in our pockets daily.

Jessica Speer

Yes, and I had to dig into NASA notes for this. And it’s actually so amazing how little of today’s tech they know. So, the random-access memory was so small that the phones that we have in our pockets have more than they were dealing with to get this rocket ship to outer space. So, yeah, it is amazing how powerful these phones are, and I definitely touch on that throughout the book, too. There’s power that can be used as a force for good, or we could also do a lot of harm.

Bianca Schulze

Yeah, the other part I really loved was the teen quotes. So, when teens give their input and their advice, and being the mom of an eleven-year-old and a 17-year-old, my eleven-year-old loves getting helpful hints from her older sister. And so, I felt like that was in the book. So how did you source these teen comments? And on a bigger level, what kind of research did you have to do? It sounds like you did quite a bit.

Jessica Speer

Yeah, it was a ton of research for this book, and I started actually gathering comments from social media. I would just post a question, and this goes to show how actually easy it is to connect and get feedback from teens online. So, I had mixed feelings about that. I could actually post as an adult stranger—I could post a question and get all sorts of feedback from teens and tweens about the way that social media is set up right now if someone doesn’t have a private account. So, then I kind of pulled back.

And in my other books, they grew out of time spent in programs with kids. So, then I started actually kind of asking direct questions to people that I have kids and teens that I’ve worked with in the past because that to me felt a little better. So, I combined both of those. So, some of my feedback from teens was just kind of crowdsourcing from the Internet, and some were actually with people that are in my circle of kids and teens that I work with.

Bianca Schulze

Well, here’s something else I’m curious about. Do you have an opinion on the right age for kids to get a cell phone?

Jessica Speer

That’s such a good question. Okay, here’s my thoughts on that one; it really depends on the family. Everyone has different family situations. And what’s also tricky is I found from community to community and from school to school, there’s totally different norms. So that’s tricky too. So, you might be in a community where this is happening a lot earlier than other communities. So, parents, this is a tough one for parents. My thoughts are, one, it really depends on the family, and two, you can start very small. So, if you get to the point where you’re like, I don’t think I can push this off much longer, you can start with just text. You don’t have to open up the whole world.

So, what I do know, and I want to just state this for the record, for parents who are listening, is the US. Surgeon General just said in recent weeks that he personally believes that 13 is too early, especially for social media. So social media right now, legally, kids are supposed to be 13. However, many are on social media early. What we’re finding from data is even the Surgeon General of the US. Believes that 13 is too early. And again, because the safeguards haven’t been put in place on these tech companies yet, I’m hoping we get there.

Part of my process for researching this book was watching a lot of what’s going on in the US. Congress. They often have these hearings, and I’ve tuned into these hearings to listen to the discussion, and we’re getting closer and closer to maybe passing some guidelines and some rules for tech companies. But we haven’t passed anything yet. So, I thought we were really close this last time, but no two really good bills didn’t make it into the 2023 budget, so we’re not there yet. So that was a really long answer, and I think I avoided your question.

Bianca Schulze

I don’t think you avoided it. I mean, there just really isn’t necessarily a right or a wrong answer. And it is what you said. It’s different for every family and every community, and people have different needs. I don’t think you avoided it. It was a hard question that I posed to you because I don’t think there is an answer.

Jessica Speer

Yeah, it’s not clear, and it depends, of course, on the kid, too. So, for some kids, it’s less of an impact on their life. As for other kids, that’s a factor too.

Bianca Schulze

Yeah. Well, this might be a slightly easier question, but maybe not super easy. What are some ways parents can help their kids form healthy digital habits? And do you have any tips on how parents can best manage devices at home?

Jessica Speer

Yes, I know parents probably hear this all the time, but how do our tech habits really matter? So, from the time kids are little, what we’re doing on our phones is modeling for them. That’s number one. I think it’s important for families to come up with some sort of tech agreement that they feel comfortable with. And the house rules when the phones go away, where they’re allowed, where they’re not allowed, and when. And there’s lots of great examples of tech agreements online, so you can come up with one that really feels right for your family.

I think regular conversations help kids understand the dark side of tech. Some of the things we’ve talked about, kids like to know that stuff. So, if there’s a news article or something that comes out, the Facebook, Instagram files, those were great times to have conversations with kids about, hey, tech companies sometimes know that their platform is harmful. So just helping kids understand that. So ongoing, open conversations about that. I think it’s always good as a parent to prioritize sleep. I know phones sneak their way into bedrooms, and once our kids are sleep deprived, that sends a whole ripple effect of other factors that go on.

And then always talking about digital literacy and digital citizenship. So, helping kids understand what that even means. What is digital literacy? What is being a good digital citizen? And these are conversations that happen for years and years so that the family starts to all have the same values and same experiences when it comes to tech.

And that’s so important to really do what’s right for your family. Your child is going to be influenced by what is happening in their peers and their peers’ families, but you’re responsible for the health and safety of your family, so you’re in charge. And you’re right to lead that with a lot of empathy and a lot of compassion and a lot of explanation as to why you’ve chosen this time and how you’re going to start. And as I mentioned earlier, starting small is great. Starting with just texting—something really simple and then as they grow and as they show their responsibility, gaining access to more apps and things like that from there.

Bianca Schulze

Yes. Well, here’s a question that I like to ask everybody who has written a book. What impact do you hope The Phone Book has on its readers?

Jessica Speer

My hope is that it helps kids be more informed consumers of tech because that’s what we all are. We’re all consumers of tech. And the more we know about how tech works and what the tech companies are getting out of this, the better we are going to be at creating habits that actually work right for us and then knowing the darker side of tech. So, yeah, I’m hoping to create more informed young users of tech so that they can create their own safe and healthy habits.

Bianca Schulze

Yes. Bravo. Well, you have two other published books that are also perfect for this age group. You mentioned one: BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? A Girls Guide to Happy Friendships. And then the second book is Middle School: Safety Goggles Advise. And I feel like anybody that is listening to this specific episode, both these books are right in this wheelhouse. So, I would love it if you could just share briefly about each of these titles because I just think the people listening to this episode need to know about them too.

Jessica Speer

Oh, thank you. And so, yeah, my first book, BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? I guess I love really complicated titles, but I knew that one would connect with my readers. BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? In that book again, I started with seeing how especially girls’ friendships got more complicated as they got to the end of middle school or end of elementary and into middle school, which prompted me to want to do something to help.

So, I started running a friendship program for that age group. And it wasn’t exclusively girls, but what I did find is the girls were the ones that showed up. And I do have in the back of my mind I want to write this book again for all genders. So that’s on my to-do list. But I also wanted to write this book for the girls that I saw over and over again in my program and their stories. So just like The Phone Book, this book has quizzes and lots of real stories and information to help girls navigate friendships and learn healthy ways to navigate their friendships, healthy communication skills, and healthy relationship skills. So, yeah, that came out in 2021.

And then once I finished that, actually, my oldest was in middle school, and that opened up a whole new can of where I was like, oh, wow, middle school. There’s a lot to talk about there. So, for that book, I kind of weaseled myself into 7th-grade classrooms because I wanted to get a sense of what it was like to be in middle school today. It’s been a long time since I was in middle school, so I talked to middle schoolers about what are the trickiest things about being in middle school today. Through those conversations and some research, I came up with the top ten trickiest things about middle school. And so that book basically dissects those top ten things.

In fact, the book used to be called before it came out; it was Dissecting Middle School. And then my publisher thought that, apparently, dissection is not a thing in a lot of schools anymore. So, we changed that name, and we came up with Middle School Safety Goggles Advised and again explores the top ten trickiest things about middle school, but also the really cool things about middle school.

And what I am excited about this book is it has choose-your-own-ending stories, which for me when I was in these middle-grade years, I loved Choose Your Own Endings, so I took some of the common stories I heard from middle schoolers and put them into some of these choose-your-own-ending stories. Because one of the things that’s so tricky about middle school, it’s the first time kids are really dealing with a lot of these things. So, a choose your own ending story about that scenario is a great way to navigate that. For instance, one story I heard over and over again from students I talked to was, you and your friend have a crush on the same person, and the dance is coming up. I thought, oh, how fun. Let’s write a choose your own ending about what you could possibly do in that situation.

So, yeah, so that book came out in 2022, and I’m super excited. It just actually is a finalist for the Colorado Book Award, which blew me away because I write really different books. So, I was so honored and excited that this book was named for that award.

Bianca Schulze

Congratulations, and very well deserved.

Jessica Speer

Thank you.

Bianca Schulze

Well, just something that’s in my mind right now is I just love the way that with all of these books, you said I was in middle school a while back, so I wanted to know what it was like being today. And the fact that you actually engage with the kids living this experience right now, I just think, is what brings the magic to your book. So, I love that you do that. And I was chuckling to myself as you said it because one of the favorite things for my teen to say to me is like, well, it was a long time since you were at school, Mom, and you didn’t even go to school here. You went to school in Australia.

Jessica Speer

Yeah.

Bianca Schulze

I love that you are tooling yourself with conversations with the kids living it now, and I think they really see that and honor and respect that in the books, which I think is why they’ve been so popular.

Jessica Speer

Oh, thank you. And I just find kids are filled with so much wisdom, so their quotes are all throughout my books, too, because they say the most amazing things. So, I love to put their words in my books, too.

Bianca Schulze

Well, if listeners were to take away one thing from our chat today, what would you want that to be?

Jessica Speer

Well, I was on your website just now, and I absolutely love what you are saying that not every kid is going to love every book, but there is a book for every kid. So, I’m repeating what you’re saying, but I love that. And I think my books, my books tend not to be the books that they might read from COVID to cover. It might be the book that if they hit a bump in the road, they go and they dig into that specific piece.

So, I encourage families to think about some just guidebooks that they might have. So, when things do get tough for me, books have led me out of some really dark times. So, to help our kids know that we can find books that might help us in the exact situation that we’re trying to navigate right now, so as caregivers, we can think about what books do. I want to have just handy and lying around so that when we hit a bump in the road, we can go to that book.

Bianca Schulze

Absolutely. Because we all feel like, as parents, we are supposed to have caregivers, any caregiver, anybody that’s interacting with kids, that on the spot, we’re supposed to know how to handle every situation perfectly, and we don’t. We’re humans. We can’t know everything. We know what we know. And I think what you said is exactly right. Having these books handy and the tools ready to fill in the gaps. I love that answer. Yeah.

Jessica Speer

And thank you for all the work that you do, just shining a light on books because books are just so valuable. It’s such a safe place for all of us to learn and grow. So, I love the work that you’re doing and helping to connect readers with books. So, thank you for all you’re doing.

Bianca Schulze

That means a lot to me. And Jessica, from a parent of three children, can’t thank you enough for writing a book that helps kids be informed consumers of phones while encouraging them to choose habits that support their well-being. The Phone Book is the perfect tool for engaging kids while backing up parents everywhere. And just a big thank you for being on the show today, Jessica. I really appreciate it.

Jessica Speer

Thank you. My pleasure. I love chatting with you.

About the Book

Publisher’s Book Summary: So . . . you got a phone! You can text your friends, play games, and take cool pictures! You have the whole world in your pocket—power to be used as a force for good or, um, not so good.

Fraught with cyberbullying, disinformation, fake stuff, tech addiction, and so much more, the digital world can be downright sad, awkward, and nasty. But have no fear, kids—The Phone Book is here! Packed with research-based explanations, techy tidbits, and real stories from hundreds of teens and preteens, this phone book (the fun kind) will be your guide on the path of light, teaching you healthy phone habits and ways to stay safe online. And while you’re on your journey, super illustrations, activities, and secret codes will reveal the power of your phone and the superpowers you have to wield it. Go forth, be informed, and slay the dark side of technology!

Buy the Book

Show Notes

Jessica Speer is the award-winning author of BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? A Girls Guide to Happy Friendships and Middle School – Safety Goggles Advised. Her interactive books for preteens and teens entertain readers while exploring important topics. Blending humor, a dash of science, stories, and insights, her writing unpacks challenges that surface during adolescence. She has a master’s degree in social sciences and explores topics in ways that connect with kids. Jessica is regularly featured in and contributes to media outlets on topics related to kids, teens, parenting, and social-emotional development.

Resources:

For more information, visit www.JessicaSpeer.com.

Discussion Topics:

• The Phone Book balances knowledge and empowerment for kids and families regarding smartphone use
• Working with kids to gather information and stories
• How watching “The Social Dilemma” highlighted the need for guardrails around technology use for kids and inspired The Phone Book
• Helping kids understand technology and its impact
• The design elements and interactive features of The Phone Book
• Modeling healthy tech habits, creating a tech agreement, having regular conversations about the dark side of tech, and teaching digital literacy and citizenship for parents to help their kids form healthy digital habits
• Creating more informed young users of tech through her book
• Encouraging families to have guidebooks on hand for when kids hit a bump in the road

Thank you for listening to the Growing Readers Podcast episode: Jessica Speer Talks About The Phone Book: Stay Safe, Be Smart, and Make the World Better with the Powerful Device in Your Hand. For the latest episodes from The Growing Readers Podcast, Follow Now on Spotify.